The Agony

Holy Week 2009.

Monday.

He is there, leaning up against the stone. Was it less than an hour before that He had offered the unbloody sacrifice? And now, His pores emit blood, sanguine, rich...penetrating the dirt beneath His knees as it drips intentionally down that rock He clings to.

Balthasare reflects: What a moment...God triumphant vs. God suffering. And, isn't it funny, like St. Paul says, few would lay down their lives even for a just man. Yet, Christ lays down His life for us, sinners!

But, He isn't without Human Nature.

"Father...if it be Your will...let this cup pass."

"But, not My will, but Thine be done."

That was the moment...that was the Fiat...setting the seal upon the Salvation of Humanity. Christ didn't wait until the nails affixed Him to the cross. It was in that moment in the Garden, when He fully immersed Himself into the Passion. In that moment, He made a perfect offering to the Father.

Priest. Victim. holocaust.

Christ, the High Priest...Christ, the Victim...now prepares for the holocaust.

"Every time I feel my powerlessness and inability to influence people directly, I become more keenly aware of the necessity of my own holocaust." Those are Edith's words...she knew what Christ knew. Even the God-Man could not, would not force hearts of stone to accept His love. The holocaust must be.

Yet, He came in and out of Agony in Gethsemane. He called His friends...and discovered they slept. Things do not change! In the midst of crisis and attack on the Church, even today, Christ's friends sleep. Those most directly entrusted with the care of souls (priests and religious) are particularly mentioned by Balthasare in his reflection. Why could they not wait, not watch one hour? Was it too painful? Is it better to sleep in ignorance than to stay at the foot of the Master, and unite in His suffering? It all must come to a choice.

Will we put on Christ this Holy Week? Will we choose Him, His mercy? Will we die to self, and all those things that prevent us from uniting fully with Christ?

Jesus, in your Agony, let us see clearly your love for us. Let us welcome your penetrating spirit, and be renewed. May you increase, Oh Beloved, as we decrease...so that only Your radience may be recognized by those we encounter. May a sweet Fiat greet every holocaust to which you invite us, Oh Ancient Beauty! May we become one with You. Amen.