Complete Consumption

+JMJ+

Lent 2009: Day 9

"I have tasted you...and now I yearn for you..."

It is a paraphrase, but St. Augustine wrote something along those lines in his famous "Late have I loved Thee" passage.

After this weekend, I have been feeling an intense yearning to be with the Jesus. I find that in the diverse situations I've been placed since the close of Bread of Life, nowhere am I "home."

Yesterday I spent lobbying Illinois State Reps against HB 2354, which is essentially Illinois' very own version of FOCA. If you've ever lobbied, you know how intense it can be. Myself and Rep. Sandy Cole really got into it over HB 2354. Cole, a member of Catholics for a Free Choice, adamantly disagreed with my concern for the Bill...and she made sure she told me that after having met with me, she would definitely vote FOR HB 2354. That really was a stab in the chest.

The redeeming part of the Lobbying Day (beyond being in solidarity with thousands of Catholics, as it was our official Catholics at the Capitol Day) was the prayer. On our way to and from Springfield, we prayed on the bus. I was blessed to lead the prayer...and particularly on our drive back, during the Hour of Great Mercy, prayer was so edifying. We meditated on the Seven Sorrows of Our Lady and the Divine Mercy Chaplet. It was a respite in the midst of the chaos that is the IL State Government.

Tonight I was once again at Catholic Underground. Adoration always begins the evening...and I just had no desire to leave the Chapel when it was over...

My heart is restless. What more can I say. It isn't "just" about my experience at Bread of Life. Years of knowing, bit by bit, just a little more about God's love for me has contributed to this insatiable thirst that I now have for Him. There is nothing that can satisfy me in this world...I cannot be complete until I am totally His.

To be filled with God, and then in turn to share that abundant life, to allow Christ's light to shine through me: this is what I desire. I cannot be afraid. Men and women are suffering for love--who will be the face of Christ to them? All of us must...but if God is inviting you or I to Radically live out our Baptismal promises through a celibate vocation, we must respond with the same generosity that God extends to us...otherwise we can never be complete.

"My heart is restless untill I rest in thee..."