Total Consummation

Today is the Feast of St. Catherine of Siena. All day I have been pondering what she once wrote to Bl. Raymond of Capua--her best friend and spiritual confidant:

"I beg you dearest father to pray earnestly that you and I together may drown ourselves in the blood of the humble Lamb. This will make us strong and faithful. We shall then feel the fire of divine love, and we shall, through its grace, become doers instead of undoers and spoilers..."

I had the privilege to receive the sacrament of Confession this evening...afterwards I sat in Adoration of Jesus. As I looked at the Sacred Host I wondered what Catherine might have meant by drowning in the Blood of the Lamb. As best I could, I thought perhaps she was speaking of total consummation of oneself in Jesus, in the Trinity...what, I am told St. Theresa of Avila writes of as the "spiritual marriage" for which the Faithful--if we remain faithful--are destined.

This mystical invitation that Catherine extended to Raymond in her letter is truly meant for all of us. It is kind of like the bedrock of what Papa Benedict said to us last week while he was in the U.S., and particularly when he was speaking to young people, enCOURAGing us to respond joyfully to the invitation of the Lord....

For, to drown in the Blood of the Lamb means to die totally to self, and to live fully and solely in Christ. This is immense and intense, and I venture to guess, it shall take a whole lifetime to perfect this way of life. Yet, the mystical tradition which Catherine holds up for us is so extraordinary! I sincerely beleive that young people in the Catholic Church want to hear things like this...read things like this. We want to know that people like Catherine and St. Faustina and St. Maximilian Kolbe lived extraordinary lives because of their total surrender to God.

They are proof that Papa Benedict's message to us is not just a bunch of lofty, pretty words--but a rallying cry that must be embraced. God only knows the great adventures that await those who respond...for we know it has been said that the saints of the latter times will even exceed the glorious deeds of those whom they follow in imitation of Christ.

Blessed Blessed Day!!

Today is a glorious day for those who are entrusted to Jesus, through Mary!

We celebrate the feast of St. Louise Marie de Montfort...and the anniversary of the ordination of dear St. Maximilian Maria Kolbe!

St. Louise Marie began in 17th Century France, convicted that it is through knowledge of the Virgin Mary that one may come to knowledge of Christ. He wrote "True Devotion to Mary" which has inspired countless Catholics...including many great saints...to abandon themselves fully to Jesus, through Mary. St. Loiuse Marie's spirituality, one might argue, is based truly on that scene in the Gospel of John when Jesus, as he hangs, dying upon the Cross, looks at Mary and says, "Woman behold thy son" ...just as to John He says "Behold thy mother."

It is at this moment that the Theology of Entrustment, which Pope John Paul the Great so eloquently spoke about, was birthed--the idea that through entrusting oneself, and even more profoundly, the entire world to the care of the Virgin, the Spiritual Mother of all the living, is the sure path to knowledge of and relationship with the Blessed Trinity, and ultimately eternal salvation.

The 20th Century saw rise of a great, holy, humble saint, Maxilimian Maria Kolbe. This Polish Franciscan spread devotion to the Immaculata far and wide. He used the concepts and themes which St. Louise Marie set forth and developed the Militia Immaculata--the Knights of the Immaculate. St. Maximilian's vision was to set up "Marytowns" around the world, centers of faith and culture dedicated to Jesus, through Mary, and to truly use this profound devotion as a sure means of evangelization.

As we celebrate St. Louise Marie's feast and the Holy Ordination Day of dear St. Max, may we always take to heart their prophetic witness to the absolute necessity of devotion to Mary, for it is at the feet of Mary that we truly learn who Christ is, and how to be in loving union with the most Sacred Trinity!

On Discernment

I was at the National Catholic Singles Confernece this weekend (not looking for a spouse, by the way), and had the opportunity to hear an excellent talk that dealt with discernment.

Sr. Raffaella Cavallin, a member of the Apostles of the Interior Life, a community whose apostolate is Spiritual Direction, spoke about the longings of a woman's heart, specifically in discernment and the great call which the Lord has for every woman.

So often people get discouraged, desiring so very much to know where the Lord is calling them..."Who is my spouse? Am I to enter religious life?? God, tell me NOW!!" Seems to be a common prayer among serious Catholic women. Sr. Ann quoted well-loved Catholic author Prof. Peter Kreeft, who once wrote, "God is always on time, but seldom early." I thought that was perfect!

She went on to say that in her years of being a Spiritual Director, she noted four key truths/points at which persons seem to get stuck along the Spiritual journey:

1) Trusting that God has a plan for your life
2) Trusting that God's plan for you is very good
3) Trusting that you can discern/know God's plan for you
4) Trusting that you are capable of living out that plan/embracing your vocation

Sister said that people tend to get stuck at one or another of these places--the first two deal with trusting the Lord, the latter two with trusting oneself.

I know I've been stuck at various of these points during the last few years. It is good to see them named, and know that I am not the only person who struggles in learning God's holy will.

Just as Papa Benedict said at the beginning of his pontificate, about three years ago,

"Do not be afraid of Christ! He takes nothing away, and He gives you everything. When we open ourselves to him, we receive a hundred-fold in return. Yes, open, open wide the doors to Christ--and you will find true life."

I am reading currently a work by Fr. Dubay entitled, "Deep Conversion, Deep Prayer." Father remarks that so many people hear the message of Christ, so many people intellectually accept that Christ gives everything, that His call is the call that answers the deepest desire of the heart. Yet, so few people are willing to take the step from knowing that Jesus offers all we desire to living in an intentional manner that would put into practice that very truth.

Father Dubay speaks of how the Lord truly calls us from good to better to best...but most Christians will be stuck at "good" their whole lives.

I beleive dear Papa Benedict came to the US to give us a wake up call...to encourage us that we must be saints! Perhaps if we can overcome the doubt and fear that Christ would deny us what will truly give us life...perhaps if we can embrace in radical abandon spiritual poverty, as did St. Francis...and spiritual indifference, as did St. Ignatius...then we could truly be still, be quite enough to hear Jesus whisper the answer to the most intimate longings of the heart.

Papa Benedict Pilgrimage: Part III

As we waited to catch our train to the airport on Monday, I reflected on the weekend.

Distinctly, I could recall the words of Papa Benedict to us during his homily at Yankee Stadium--once again inviting young people to the priesthood and religious life, and reminding America that we can not even imagine the graces which God desires to bring forth, if only we choose to respond to His grace in our country.

Pope Benedict's message for our country was one of hope and healing...yes. Even more so, for the youth, it was a message of urgency. We are not the Church tomorrow--we are the Church of today!

I've been reading more of Adrienne von Speyr's The Christian State of Life and she speaks so perfectly about the time of choice in one's life...choice of one's life vocation...speaking to Papa Benedict's urgent call:

"Once the moment of choosing has arrived, the concept of "choice" acquires, for him who chooses, an absolute and intimate vitality. It is not for him a question of something theoretical, but primarily of something practical, something that will determine the meaning of his whole life. It must be for him, therefore, a matter of the greatest urgency, of an inexorability that can be neither gainsaid nor ignored, of an intensity that does not allow him to water down the choice he must make or to continue weighting it until the "danger" has passed and nothing has happened (29-30)."

Papa Benedict reminded us at the Youth Rally that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. In her reflections on the choice of one's vocation, Adrienne beautifully weaves in this truth. She says that if God's call is true, it is always true--for Jesus is the same, yesterday, today and forever! Therefore, in times of doubt or despair, do not succumb to the darkness that is not of Christ, who is our Light!

God has great desires for my generation. The world needs heroes, the world needs strong families, brave priests and loving men and women religious. God is not holding back the call...we are often too busy to listen as he whispers the answer to the deepest longing of our hearts.

May the youth of this country, may all Catholics take Papa's words seriously...spending time in silent prayer and adoration, not only to hear the invitation of the Lord, but always to gain the strength needed to be courageously Catholic!

Papa Benedicit Pilgrimage: Part II

There he was...our Holy Father, within a couple hundred yards from me! When Papa Benedict finally began to speak, I felt as though he was speaking solely to me. Earlier in the day I had the opportunity to receive the sacrament of Reconciliation from an amazing Jesuit priest and he truly prepared me to receive Papa Benedict's words.

One thing that really struck me about his message was it felt as though he was acknowledging the presence of young adults--just like me. Although teens could understand what he was saying, he seemed to respect the intellect of the older youth present--and truly catechized and inspired all of us.

I loved how Papa talked about the concept of truth, and explained to us the horrors of relativism. As you know, dear Papa has been speaking of the dangers of relativism long before he became our Holy Father...and he remains right on in his explanation, "Dear Friends, truth is not an imposition, it is a recognition of rules...ultimately truth is a Person...Jesus Christ! Service of authentic freedom is not an opting out, it is an opting in..." I really loved this statement...who wouldn't want to opt in?? The way he phrased things really spoke to my generation...he didn't impose, he invited us to something extraordinary!

Papa's address to us was a call to arms. His was a message of hope and a call to courage...he encouraged us to use our talents and imagination at the service of Jesus. He implored us on behalf of Jesus Himself to respond to the Gospel call of discipleship. He told us that the Church needs us...NOW!

He left us with four points to ponder: personal relationship with God in prayer, especially silent, contemplative prayer, liturgical prayer, charitable service and vocation.

When Papa invited us to contemplative prayer, my heart was filled with great joy! He asked us if we could hear God's whisper...calling us to greatness. It was so beautiful! Papa reminded us of the Sacred purpose of Liturgy...and that out of the relationship we form with God, will flow service to the world. Finally, Papa called us to open our hearts to vocations, especially to the priesthood and religious life. It was in no way an imposition, but a loving invitation.

Like I said, I just felt like Papa was speaking to me...begging me to listen to Jesus' voice, and understand where He is calling me. The Church needs each one of us, and all of us. As Papa said: "we cannot imagine the path of love upon which we must move...are you ready to give all as he did for truth and justice?" That is the core question, isn't it? I pray to God that I am ready!

** Picture is of me and my friend Mark (to my right)--we graduated from Loyola University Chicago together last spring...Mark and the other two seminarians are all studying for the Archdiocese of Chicago!! This was taken before our Holy Father arrived at the Youth Rally.

NYC Pilgrimage: Details, Part I

Perhaps the week before was just characteristically busy, but I don't think it hit me that I was going to see PAPA until I got on the Orange Line with my friend Dennis to make our way to Midway airport. We arrived at Long Island Airport a few hours later a little like St. Joseph and Mary when they got to Bethlehem--with no place to stay! Thankfully, we made friends with the NYPD, who let us sleep at the airport. Not only did the cops give us the DL on the Bronx and Manhattan, but at midnight included us in their ritual Diner run, bringing back super greasy midnight snacks.

I could go on indefinitely about little stories and funny happenings from the pilgrimage, but let me start off by sharing some impressions from the Youth Rally in Yonkers on Saturday.

Having arrived early, we were able to get a spot very close to the stage. It was encouraging for me to see so many volunteers, priests and religious. They were all very welcoming, and you just felt at home. Even though I knew only a handful of the people present, I felt safe and at ease.

Soon, I discovered Reconciliation was available. Throughout the whole day, we were encouraged to take advantage of confession, especially to prepare for our Holy Father's visit. I was able to receive the sacrament from a wonderful Jesuit priest. Not only was he encouraging, but just filled me with such hope, and told me that our Holy Father's words would be for ME, and to listen very carefully--what a great way to prepare for Papa's message that came a few hours later!

Jesus planted some friends in my path who I hadn't seen in a while...which were delightful surprises. My favorite was when as I stood, about to join in song with Matt Maher as he lead us in Worship before Papa arrived. Out of nowhere my friend Ronnie appeared beside me, and just like that we were singing and praising the Lord together. Ronnie is volunteering right now with the CFR Friars in NYC--it was such a blessing to see him!

We first saw Papa on the big screen...and instantaneously the crowd erupted!! Our cheers were sustained for a very long time...until Papa began his visit inside the seminary with the disabled children, which we were able to watch on the big screen. It was poignant for us on the field to see the love and affection that dear Papa Benedict shared with these beautiful little ones, affirming that each life is a gift and blessing.

As Papa neared the rally sight, we once again erupted...even more loudly than before. I am sure it must have gone on for at least 10 minutes. Our Holy Father managed to sneak in through the back of the stage--we were all looking around trying to figure out where he was and all of a sudden, there he was, on stage! We kept cheering and some groups began chanting and people were shouting "We love you Papa!!" It was AMAZING! We also sang Happy Birthday...although later in the program they had us sing it again, in German :) Our Holy Father was impressed with our pronunciation :)

After some ceremonies, dear Papa Benedict finally addressed us. I felt as if he was speaking JUST to me...and everything he said was perfect...More Soon!!

Thank you Papa!

I can't imagine how tired Papa Benedict is...because I only went to New York, and I'm wiped out!!

Since I wasn't able to post while there, I wanted to share a quick bit...what follows will be published later this week in Chicago's Catholic New World publication--I wrote it with input from my pilgrim buddy, Dennis. Promise to write more soon!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Dear friends, only God in his providence knows what works his grace has yet to bring forth in your lives and in the life of the Church in the United States.” With these words, Pope Benedict XVI began to close his homily at Yankee Stadium, and in a greater sense, encapsulate the entire message of his apostolic journey.

When we heard our Holy Father was coming to the United States, we had a great desire to welcome him...and bring his message back to Chicago. Young adults face an immense challenge to escape from the noise of our culture in order to hear God’s voice. In light of this, Pope Benedict’s message of hope comes at a crucial time for all of us.

Early Saturday morning we arrived at St. Joseph Seminary in Yonkers, New York for the Youth Rally. Looking across the field, we realized that this experience would truly be a mini World Youth Day. Not only were there young people from every race and ethnic group present, but also a support network of volunteers, priests and religious who ensured our experience was uniquely Catholic.

Before our Holy Father arrived, several groups--including Third Day, Matt Maher and Toby Mac--kept the crowd on their feet. Most interesting was a Yonkers parish-based hip-hop group, M.O.C. (Messengers of Christ). To see a Catholic Priest dressed in full cassock and sporting a NY Yankees cap rap messages of repentance and hope was phenomenal--and the youth responded tremendously. M.O.C. proved that we can be counter-cultural even while using popular means of the culture--in this case, hip hop and rap.

Throughout the day Reconciliation was readily available. So many young people seem to forget about this sacrament, and we were reminded of the need for forgiveness and the amazing graces received through Reconciliation that keep us strong as we face the adverse influences of society.

When we first saw Pope Benedict on the jumbo screen, the crowd was set on fire! After almost an hour he finally arrived at the rally sight and the zeal of those present erupted for several minutes. After a few ceremonies, His Holiness finally addressed us...calling us to prayer, service and vocation.

“Do you leave space to hear God’s whisper, calling you forth into goodness? Friends, do not be afraid of silence or stillness, listen to God, adore him in the Eucharist. Let his word shape your journey as an unfolding of holiness.” Pope Benedict was calling us to a deeper prayer life--a relationship with God in which each one of us will discover the deepest desire of our hearts.

At first glimpse of the Pope Mobile entering Yankee Stadium on Sunday, over 50,000 broke out in welcome of our Holy Father, mirroring the response of the youth on Saturday. As the Sacred Liturgy began, the diversity of Catholics was made clear--during the Mass we prayed in nine different languages.

As Pope Benedict drew his homily to a close, he remarked “My dear young friends...may you step forward and take up the responsibility which your faith in Christ sets before you! May you find the courage to proclaim Christ, “the same, yesterday, and today and for ever” and the unchanging truths which have their foundation in him (cf. Gaudium et Spes, 10; Heb 13:8). These are the truths that set us free!”

When our Holy father encouraged us to be open to vocations to priesthood and religious life, both in English and Spanish, the crowd erupted in applause. You could truly sense the entire Mystical Body of Christ willing to foster a culture of vocation. His Holiness exited the stadium rock-star style and the crowds cheered until he was out of sight. There was a spirit of joy among all gathered--our beloved Papa’s message of hope did not fall on deaf ears.

As we return to our lives in chicago, neither of us could ever forget the time spent with Pope Benedict. As Vicar of Christ on earth, he was speaking directly to each of us--not only those present, but to all Catholics. Sometimes we are tempted to despair as we see troubles in our world. Yet, Pope Benedict’s message reminded us that Christ is our Hope!

Our Holy Father finished His homily Sunday by saying “Let us turn to Jesus! He alone is the way that leads to eternal happiness, the truth who satisfies the deepest longings of every heart, and the life who brings ever new joy and hope, to us and to our world. Amen.” May we take courage in the witness to hope which Pope Benedict gave our country, and heed his call to a deeper life of prayer and dedication to Christ and our Church!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P.S. I love Our Holy Father!!!

Welcome, Papa Benedict!

+JMJ

Pope Benedict is on U.S. soil! This is surely an exciting time for the country, and especially for Catholics. If you take a look at the Holy Father's itinerary, you can't help but notice how generous he is with his time here: visiting w/ academics, clergy and religious, having time with an ecumenical group as well as an interfaith group, two outdoor Masses to accommodate over 100,000 faithful as well as a greatly anticipated youth rally for 25,000+ youth from around the nation...not to mention addressing the U.N. and spending time at the White House.

I must be honest--just looking at his itinerary makes me tired! It really speaks to the classic title "Servant of the Servants of God/Servus Servorum Dei" which was first used by Pope Gregory the Great. The idea is that the Pope is the successor of St. Peter...and in a very particular way personifies Christ Himself. In his humility, the Pope is a witness to unity among Catholics as well as a defender of orthodoxy/the truths of our Faith.

It is humbling to consider that in just 4 days I'll be able to see Papa Benedict not once but twice! Each experience will be unique. The Youth Rally at St. Joseph Seminary excites me particularly, for at Yonkers it is said that dear Papa will encourage us young people to live radically for Christ! I am so elated that I will be among my peers to receive this message--it is a message of Hope and I am sure it will be a message of trust in Jesus' gentle, guiding hand.

The Mass at Yankee Stadium will also be amazing, but surely different from Yonkers. Just the fact that we'll be among 100 others from the Archdiocese excites me, and I fervently hope and pray that the HOPE instilled by our Holy Father will be faithfully carried back to the Archdiocese of Chicago.

We are a world starving for Hope...suffering from disordered love and abandoned to weak faith. This is a pivotal time for the whole world--especially America. We are being called to radical conversion and change on every level for the Gospel of Christ. I beleive that if hearts are open to this need, the message Benedict brings to the United States these next few days will not fall on deaf ears.

Particularly, the young people play a vital role. I pray that my sense of vocation and conviction as to where I believe Christ is leading me will be strengthened as I pilgrimage to see Papa Benedict...and this is my prayer for every young person who will also make this journey. Through the intercession of Sweet Maria and the mercy and love of Jesus, I trust this will be so!

Taxing Issues

Today I had a little dilemma...I couldn't find my W-2s. Yes, I did wait until the last minute to do my taxes.

I was mildly frazzled as I tore through papers in drawers--I knew I had put it in a drawer, but it was not appearing...then I was hit with anxiety over another issue, and started to become very unsettled.

As I traveled down town for a second time in one day, I was hoping the W-2 would be in my drawer at work: no luck! But, thankfully, the other source of my anxiety--a miscommunication at work--was relieved.

Since I hadn't found the W-2 at home or work, I figured all I could do was give it up to God. I made a Holy Hour in a humble little Chapel. It was so consoling to just be there with Jesus, to ask Him what He desired for me...to tell Him that I love Him, and to pray for all of my dear friends. Lately I've been coming to a great rhythm for Holy Hour, and the joyful time passes so quickly! If I didn't have responsibilities to attend to, I'd stay in the Chapel all day...

As I traveled home a friend was on the phone with me and surprised at my W-2 dilemma--I told him either Jesus would help me find them, or maybe God didn't want me to file :)

On the phone with my mother shortly after, I was rather anxious and just tired of money in general...how irritating to have to deal with money in the first place! On top of that, as a recent college grad...monthly student loan payments are also a vivid reality.

When I got home, I resolved to make dinner...and in the midst of preparing the meal, all of a sudden, I remembered where the W-2 was...and sure enough, it was in a drawer--one by my bedside!! How excited was I!

This little gift is just a reminder to me that Jesus desires me to surrender more and more of my will, my cares, my desires and myself to Him. He is full of mercy and compassion...and will never leave those whom He loves without guidance and protection.

Sure, I don't usually post about the day to day like this, but there is a lesson to learn, because within the day to day is where each of us will find God, who loves us and is constantly active in our lives!

Choices

I began reading Adrienne Von Speyr's "The Christian State of Life" today. I can honestly say that Adrienne is one of my favorite spiritual writers. The depth of her reflection is mind boggling YET simple at the same time. Often, you ought to just stop mid-sentence and let what she writes sink in. Clearly, it is all a fruit of her contemplation!

Von Balthasar has book with the same title, which is more than twice as long. My friend informed me Adrienne's version is like VB, condensed. I like that!

What does Adrienne begin her exploration with? Something painfully relevant for today: the concept of choice. We are all given a choice as to our state of life as Christians. As we grow older, we come closer to a time when we ought to choose. There are some who never choose, never reflect upon life--essentially letting life be a random series of events. Others choose later...still others make a concious effort to contemplate and discern, choosing in good time.

++++

As I chatted with a friend earlier this evening, the topic of men's rights and abortion came up. Dave wanted to know if men have a say...are there any laws that protect fathers? I told him, essentially, no.

Even if you want to reject religion entirely, you have to be pig headed not to recognize how abortion has affected men. I think if psychology and sociology were honest, this would be a heavily studied topic. Consider the following:

1963--Casey v. CT: Contraception is O.K.

1960s--Sexual revolution, coupled with contraception: sex anytime, anyplace, free from responsibility

1973--Abortion: now if you don't use birth control, or if it fails (as it usually does...you see the success rates they put on condoms, etc. are all based on controlled lab environments)...well, you can take care of the 'problem' with abortion

...Not to mention the Feminist revolution which has essentially emasculated the bulk of the American male population...

All of these factors lead us to where we are today: Men, generally speaking, don't know how to be men. They were trained, by fruit of the sexual revolution, to not be responsible. Because of abortion laws, one of the deepest marks of men--the need to protect--is defied to the core: a man has no right to protect his unborn child.

I think this all feeds into the overarching phenomenon of young adults delaying making a choice about their state in life. People wait longer and longer to get married--or just don't marry at all, but do the live-in deal. Young men and women are more hesitant to even enter exploratory stages of religious life and priesthood (such as seminary or novitiate). It is as if all these people are waiting for some sort of writing in the clouds...that just ain't gonna happen.

Love dictates that choice was created good, and that it ought to be a freeing thing. Yet, in our culture, the concept of choice has been polluted by sin. We teach irresponsibility on every level both through our laws and through the culture. No wonder people think they have their whole lives to make a decision. I understand there are turns in the road, but I refuse to beleive that a majority of people are not being called to their vocation in life until they turn 35: that makes NO sense at all! Why would you wait when so many graces are available within these states of life?

What Adrienne has to say about choice in life is so relevant today. If only the fear and selfishness that suffocates hearts could be let go of...if only we could choose to release ourselves from OURSELVES! My generation needs to stop blaming other people for the way we act and our inability to commit. We can change things--we just need to make the choice to do it!

That We may be One

As I sat in the pew after Mass this morning at St. Stan's I noticed a woman walk up to the alter, where on the left side an almost life-size statue of Our Lady stands, gazing at the altar of sacrifice.

This woman went up to Mary, and held her hand, and just talked to her...perhaps the most beautiful witness to Faith I've seen in a long time.

+++++++

As I continue to read further regarding Eucharistic Devotion, the concept of uniting oneself spiritually in adoration to the Blessed Eucharist around the world has become very clear to me--particularly in places where Jesus is alone in a Tabernacle somewhere.

Praying about some potential projects, it occurred to me that Jesus' desire for us to be spiritually present to Him in the Blessed Sacrament is very intense. When one consecrates oneself to Jesus through Mary, one does everything by, with, for and through Mary. Uniting those two ideas, it occurred to me that through Mary, I can very truly adore Jesus in tabernacles all over the world.

This helps me understand how we all must be united in our faith--Jesus' prayer at the Last Supper included,

"I ask not only on behalf of these, but also on behalf of those who will believe in Me through their word, that they may all be one. As you, Father, are in Me and I am in you, may they also be in Us, so that the world may all be one... (Jn. 17:20-22)"

I thought, maybe Jesus wants us, while we are in adoration, to unite ourselves with Mary in places where she and Jesus are alone, places where Tabernacles are forgotten--whether it be in the underground Church in China or a lofty Cathedral in the middle of Paris. We can adore Jesus there...and beg His Mercy and Love for those so close to the Tabernacle in physical proximity, yet so far in spiritual proximity.

May the fruit of our contemplation of Christ, through Mary, be united...and produce a yield of sanctified love.

Desolation

Ignatian Spirituality talks about times of Consolation--spiritual peace, joy, feelings of affection for God...etc. The counter to Consolation is Desolation--times of doubt, distraction, anxiety, etc.

St. Ignatius tells us to store up the treasures of Consolation to remember during the times of desolation.

You may read of the "dark night of the soul"...a time of deep desolation which people experience--people like St. John of the Cross, St. Peter Julian Eymard and Bl. Mother Theresa. It is remarkable that these souls so close to God, so faithful, experienced such spiritual deserts!

In my own life, I've often fallen into the traps of doubt which times of Desolation set--yet, St. Ignatius instructs: do not change your course in times of desolation, stay steady, stay firm upon the path! Oh...how many times have I let go of resolutions because of desolation! My journey sometimes becomes a circle, because I lack trust.

Today the purpose of sacred imagery was made manifest to me. I had fallen into anxiety over an obligation and proceeded to waste almost a half-hour searching for a "remedy" when I knew full well the only way to fulfill my obligation was to stay steady on the course I'd plotted. I stopped, realizing how I was wasting time, and told myself I must pray. As I sat down, I looked across the room and saw the image of the Divine Mercy I had recently put up on the wall. All I could think of was how this lack of trust had thrown me into a tizzy, and how Jesus promised that if we trust, He will provide! "Jesus, I trust in You!"

My eyes moved to the next wall, where now hangs a recently acquired Crucifix. This particular one evokes a deep sense of the suffering of Jesus. It also hangs where my clock used to be. It is an excellent meditation, because each time I look to see what time it is, instead I see Jesus dying on the Cross...and my life is put into proper perspective.

These images around my apartment and at work help me to remember why I am here, and that I am not alone...

Jesus said do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid! We live in a world that throws "you can do it yourself" at us all the time! But, the truth is we can not. There is no way I can meet my obligations and fulfill my responsibilities of my own accord. Yet, if I am faithful to prayer and industrious in work, Jesus will keep His promise.

The lie of radical individualism seeded centuries ago in bad philosophy needs to be done away with. We cannot achieve anything autonomous of our Creator, who ordains that we be in intimate connection with one another through the Mystical Body of Christ.

The Divine Praises

As Holy Hour at St. Stan's finished this evening, I paid particular attention to the Divine Praises, a litany of honor recalling the great work of the Blessed Trinity, Our Lady and St. Joseph.

Turns out, the 4 MARIAN DOGMAS are incorporated into the Divine Praises!!!

"Blessed be the great Mother of God, Mary Most Holy (Theotokos)"
"Blessed be her holy and immaculate conception (Immaculate Conception)"
"Blessed be her glorious Assumption (Assumption)"
"Blessed be the name of Mary, virgin and mother (Perpetual Virginity)"

This is VERY exciting! Not only does is it yet another example of how important Mary is in the life of the Church, but incorporating these Dogmas regarding Mary into the Divine Praises says so much about how her role was integrated into the life of the Blessed Trinity!

Now, when the 5th Marian Dogma is proclaimed (Co-Redemptrix and Mediatrix of All Graces)...will they add a line to the Divine Praises?? Well, additions were made when the Dogmas of the Immaculate Conception and Assumption were proclaimed...so, it is safe to assume, YES!

Books...books...and more BOOKS!

As a child, my second favorite place to go was the library. We were home schooled (which contrary to popular legend, when done right, is an amazing gift)...and our biweekly adventures to the library were a source of great joy for me. I ate books like some kids ate candy. I remember distinctly "Stewart Little," "All of a Kind Family" and "Little Women"...not to mention "Where the Red Fern Grows"....if I continued to list the books, it might become a bit much.

Thankfully, my love of books did not cease, even after four years at university! I think I've read more books that would contribute positively to my senior thesis since having completedted it! I used to be proud of the library I've acquired, yet today I can honestly say I am astounded...you see, my library has more than doubled within the last month due to the generosity of a dear priest friend of mine! Not only is Father truly generous, but he has excellent taste in books, and has introduced me to several Marian texts I've never heard of, as well as brilliant books on the Spiritual Life.

Now, as I look at all the books before me, I just want to take off a year and absorb each one. I used to be tempted to think reading was selfish, but I can tell you quite sincerely, I want to read more so that I can have more little bits and pieces pop into my mind to share with others. I've found myself quoting the saints more lately--because I've been reading more of what they have to say! And, this is only after a few weeks!

I constantly carry a book around with me (well, more like 3 books...). Yesterday as I sat at the Ark (check it out if you are in Chicago...amazing!) I set my copy of "The Virgin Mary and Theology of the Body" on the counter. The young waiter who I had recently met, Dave, came up to take my order, and saw the book--his face lit up!

"I've been hearing about Mary and Theology of the Body all week!!! We need to talk." What ensued was such a blessing. Dave is preparing to become Catholic, and is reading and learning all he can. I felt so honored to share a bit with him about Mary, particularly how the four Marian Dogmas support the four Truths about our Bodies:

I) The Immaculate Conception: The Body is a Gift
II) Perpetual Virginity: The Body is Nuptial
III) Theotokos: The Body is Fruitful
IV) The Assumption: The Body is Essential

I want to take time to explain these correlations, as presented in a phenomenal essay by Fr. Donald Calloway (M.I.C.) in another post, but here I just want to reiterate how useful books are! I may have never had such a joyful conversation, or made a new friend...had it not been for the book I placed on the counter!

Books just make me excited. One ought surely to be very SELECTIVE in what he or she reads...yet, it cannot be stressed enough how fruitful the time spent with a good book truly is!

Spiritual Poverty

As I stood waiting in the subway, I became acutely aware of the faces passing by. Many looked unhappy, disgusted...irritated...tired. Essentially, anything but joyful. It made me sad. I had the desire to just go up to this or that lady and ask her what was wrong, or if I could do anything for her. I determined I could--I could say a prayer for all of them...

Soon I arrived at my stop, after (as per usual) having 'doubts' about going to Adoration. As I waited for the bus, there was one point that I felt someone push my arm...and I felt around me a presence of evil...although no actual person had pushed me--nobody was there. Soon, I overheard the most distressing conversation.

One lady had approached another, excited to see that she, too, had a piercing below her lip. The conversation turned to the disgusting, essentially correlating such matters with a blatant disrespect for human sexuality. It made my heart feel ill. How sad that these women would talk about such things at all, let alone in the midst of a crowd waiting for the same bus on a public sidewalk!

It was yet another reminder of the poverty that plagues all...rich, poor, young, old: spiritual poverty. Taking the #70 bus West on Division is a great education. Not only do you ride with rich and poor, but you pass what some would call the "projects." These ugly buildings stand in the middle of vast fields, with no trees at all. It looks like something from the Communist Era. This is a crime ridden area, and as I watch folks get off the bus, I see how that place affects them, and I know they desire something safer. Perhaps it is physical safety that weighs most on their minds, but connected with the physical is always the spiritual.

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One person struck me most on the bus, a young African-American man--must have been 14. He had a hoodie on that said "NAVY", and I was convicted that this fellow had big dreams. Yet, as we passed poverty and sin on the streets, I couldn't help but think of everything that might be working 'against' him. I just wanted to talk to him, ask him if he wanted to join the Navy, or something. I wish I had.

Riding the bus in Chicago never fails to reveal truth and pain to me. It is a good reminder of just how crucial it is that we constantly reflect the Face of Jesus and the Love of Mary to the world. We may see people that never walk into a Church, people who are seldom respected.

Jesus may choose to use us, in a passing moment, to be the face of love to a person who is very broken. This is why we need to be so cognizant of how we carry ourselves. Even if we are having a cruddy day, I can guarantee someone else's day is far worse. Let go, please let go of what weighs you down, if only as you walk the streets...offer it up and beg for that spirit of joy that just might be the only glimpse of God someone may ever have.

Pilgrimage to Mary

The tradition of crowning statues of the Virgin Mary is very dear to me...and last night yet another manifestation of this devotion occured.

A small group of young people had gathered for dinner in honor of dear Papa John Paul II's devotion, "Totus Tuus...Totally Yours, Mary!" As the evening grew late, a Marian Procession occured in Rogers Park!

Equiped with a crown of beautiful yellow roses...oh, I must tell you the rose story!

I had forgotten to purchase the roses when I was at Dominick's (our area's large grocer)...and was wondering if I should even continue to pursue this endeavor. I thought--if Jesus really wants me to prepare a crow of yellow roses, then He will provide them easily. I thought to walk to the corner grocer,which is rather small, and where I have NEVER noticed roses. Well...as it turns out, not only were there 4 boquets or roses...but a beautiful boquet of YELLOW ROSES!

About 5 hours later, 6 young men and women walked humbly down a noisy Chicago street towards Loyola University's Lake Shore Campus, where a lovely statue of the Virgin Mary is located. As we walked down the city sidwalks, each took turn leading a decade of the Glorious Mysteries. What a perfect meditation on the chaos of the world! Busy, noisy cars and people went by constnatly, and yet we continued to pray these ancient words over and over, desiring to unites oureselves closer to Christ and His Mother.

When we arrived at the statue of Mary, two of the young men worked together to don her with the crown...and we sang a few hymns in honor of God and Our Lady.

We must take God to the streets, and be not afraid! How humbling it is for me to have friends who are not ashamed of the Faith, and were ready and eager to pray a public rosary on a busy Saturday night!

Emmaus

Today's Gospel account is yet another example of Jesus' perpetual commitment to meeting us where we are. So gentle and patient He is with the disciples, as He explains how the Son of Man must suffer and die...but giving also the message of hope, which is essentially a message of mercy and love.

I feel as though Jesus is challenging me to a very intimate trust. There was even a point this week when He said very clearly--"Why don't you trust Me?" This leads up to today.

Invited to speak at a Mother/Daughter Tea--which is geared towards young ladies who are around the age of puberty--I had forgotten the notes for my talk at the office. Yet, for some reason, I sensed that Jesus didn't want me to worry about this...or even spend much time 'preparing', but rather was inviting me to trust in Him...and so I did what He asked, and offered it entirely to Him, begging Him to use me as an instrument, and say what He needed me to say to these young ladies and their mothers.

Truly it was a humbling, joyous experience. I am sure I said very much what He desired, and the faces of mothers and daughters alike were receptive. What did Jesus want me to say that was not in my prepared 'talk'? He had me speak of Eucharistic Adoration...of Family Prayer Time...and of Devotion to Our Lady. It was such a privilege for me to be the voice of Jesus to this group of women and girls, who were seeking to learn better what the Lord's plan is for them.

I cannot really describe the feelings of love I had for the women and girls gathered today, it is rather difficult. Yet, I know in surrendering to Trust in Jesus, I said as best I could what He desired, and I learned just a little more how to submit myself to being a useful instrument in His work. Dear Mother Mary was surely with me, and I know she prayed for me!

As I left that place, the only destination I could think appropriate was the Adoration Chapel at Our Lady of Lourdes...on my way there I had doubts about visiting Jesus...and I reminisced with Him when I arrived how funny it is that the Evil Spirit tries all the time to prevent me going to Adoration.

Today was full of surprises, and the call to Trust in Jesus. I have not 'arrived', as some say, as far as the spiritual life is concerned. But, I trust that I am on the right path.

Daily we are thwarted by the chaos of this world, as Fr. Anthony Bus remarked in his homily this morning. Yet...Jesus invites us to center ourselves, even daily, at Holy Mass. Fr. Anthony reminded us just how perfect is the Gospel story of Emmaus...for it is a Holy Blueprint of the Sacred Mass! Jesus opens scripture to the disciples...and then breaks bread...offering His very self for nourishment.

True, these are all mysteries of the Holy Catholic Faith...yet, there is something remarkable to be honored here. The promise of Christ is the same today, yesterday and forever. We are all called to trust...and ultimately, through our trust, strengthened always by devotion to Mary, to share in the bliss of Eternal Life.

On Joy

"Oh Jesus, living in Mary, Come and live in my heart!"

A Dominican bluntly relayed once that "Joy is not giddy-giddy ha ha." Rather, it is a deep sense of sustained peace.

Because we have been endowed with free will, every aspect of the human experience is marked by choice. The concept of joy is often on my mind, and realizing that we must choose joy just as much as we must choose love is quite important.

Recently I became reacquainted with a young woman whom I had met about two years ago. I couldn't place her, but I knew I had seen her before. Turns out we had met at a Holy Hour hosted by the local Vincentian Community. We began to chat...and she asked me what I was doing with my life. She remarked, "Do you remember how when we met you told me that consecration to Mary changed your life...well, it changed mine too!"

She had Googled consecration to Mary...and in the story of her soul, the rest is history. It was extremely joyful to share conversation. I had only seen her once in my life, but it was as if we had known one another for years! Her love of Our Lady is so inspiring--she carries a copy of St. Louise Marie's book on the Rosary that she got at the Shrine of Guadalupe in her purse!

This "visitation" was a poignant reminder to me that when you give yourself to Jesus through Mary, you choose to set yourself apart, and immerse yourself in a lifestyle of loving slavery. The fruit of Jesus and Mary is love, and only that--one who consecrates him/herself to Jesus through Mary becomes quite naturally an apostle of love.

As years go by, I beleive the consecration , if one is faithful, takes on greater significance and depth. Surely, we are all on a journey towards Heaven, and I do not pretend that I have 'arrived' as far as the spiritual life is concerned. Yet, I can testify to the transformation in my own life.

Most visible have been chance encounters. True, some folks will talk to anyone--yet, through the eyes of Faith, these "visitations" become intense reminders of Christ's need for our hands, feet and heart.

Just a few days ago I was standing on the "L" platform waiting for my train. An older gentleman was standing a few feet from me. I smiled and said hi, and he approached me and asked how I was, and then asked my name. I extended my hand and learned his name as well.

Not only did he follow me onto the train and sit beside me, but shared very honestly who he was, verging on topics one wouldn't generally share with a stranger. Naturally when one asks what I do for a living, the responses are colorful. My new friend told me he was pro-choice, but that he respected what I did. We talked a little about life, and I noticed as we chatted that he had ever so slight tears running down his face. I wondered if he was alright...

As we approached his stop, he thanked me for talking to him, and said I had been sent to him, and he hoped we'd meet again. He gave me a hug as he got off the train.

Honestly, if that had happened 4 months ago, I am not sure how I would have responded. Yet, as I try to be faithful to my consecration to Our Lady, I see how every day she is challenging me to break my will and step out of my comfort zone. She constantly reminds me that Jesus will not settle for anything less than all of me all the time, and that I must be a constant witness to His love...and when I fail, that I must run swiftly to His Mercy, so that I may have grace to be renewed in my mission.

This is not unique to me. There are ever so many apostles of love, fighting to be faithful. We must acknowledge that we are called and chosen by Christ, and not turn our backs upon Him. He desires us to be ever so joyful...whether in times of happiness or sorrow. We can choose this. It is not any easy choice, it has to be renewed in every moment--not necessarily by an act of the conscious, but by the spirit of our fervor for Jesus. Jesus is the perfect example of joy, and through living the spirit of Mary in this life, we can be certain she will plead for us before the judgment seat...and beam with joy as we receive the crown of sanctity in the life to come!